Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
