so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize