Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
