just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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