I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
