like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
