yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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