I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
