plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize