Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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