he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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