Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
