somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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