I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
