She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize