I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
