between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
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Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
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i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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