Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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