Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
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So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
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I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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