Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
third nipple confirmed
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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