You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
