do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
