Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
