I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
