were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
