Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
