I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
