I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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