It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
