Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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