Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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