now i know why i became what i already was.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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