You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I am midnight drunk by noon
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
