I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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