Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize