fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
