If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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