Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
