I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
