tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
