I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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