Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize