The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
