He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
