Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize