How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
