nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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