my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
