you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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