Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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