I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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