And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
