sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
