How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
