you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
