If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
