We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
