North Korea, Best Korea!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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