I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
vagina is talking i cant
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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