You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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