What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
