god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
There r osticjed everywhere
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
