Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Green mimosas i think yes
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
