It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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